Clinging to a partner can ruin a relationship. It also sends a wrong message to your partner (he/she thinks you cannot live without them) Being clingy comes off as being needy and is a real turn off. This gives your partner total power over the relationship and over you. Hey! You can stop yourself from being clingy in a relationship. How?
• Allow space: Understand that other people have lives outside of yours. When you think everything you do is at the centre of everyone else's world, your insecurities become annoying and people get tired of reassuring you all the time.
• Allow time: Be understanding of another person's time. A big mistake that makes people appear clingy is trying to dominate another person's time. Do not expect the relevant individual to spend every spare minute of time they have with you.
• Allow a 'phone' breather: Try to stay off the phone for hours on end with your partner. Limit your phone calls with them. Calling someone always and not letting them off the phone easily makes you appear needy. People will look at their caller ID to see if it is you calling. If you find the person you call all the time is suddenly not answering the phone, this might be a clear sign that you are calling too often.
• Allow 'outside' friendship: Go out with friends in social situations without your significant other. Encourage your partner to do the same, making sure to remove all signs of jealousy. Being independent outside of your relationship shows an attractive level of self-confidence.
• Allow creativity: Find something you enjoy that you can do outside of your relationship such as a hobby or sport. Take an art class or sign up or be spiritually engaged in your religion.
Be yourself and try not to be so apologetic about everything you do. This makes you appear needy and that you have a perpetual guilty conscience. You do not need to be a perfect person for someone to love you and want to be around you.
• Allow self esteem: Feel secure with yourself, believe in yourself and know you have great worth. Do not let anybody make you feel otherwise. Remember that you are great. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are fun. If you were not, then he would not have started dating you in the first place. Remind yourself from time-to-time of just how amazing you are.
• Allow friends and family: Give yourself time to spend around your friends and family instead of always putting your partner first. The more time you spend with others, the less time you have to spend driving your partner crazy with your clinginess.
• Allow personal decisions: Take that back one step and learn to make decisions in the first place. That can often, be very hard for a clingy person who looks to others for the decision-making. However, being able to make decisions and make choices is a vital element of being a complete and fulfilled human being. Once you have learned how to make decisions, also be ready to take responsibility for their outcomes.
• Allow time, don't rush! Slow things down when you first meet someone new, especially if you have not recovered fully from your last relationship. It is possible to get overly fond of a new partner, but if you slow down, you can stop this from happening.
• Allow suspicions to die! Tame those 'what if' demons. Stop thinking "what if" every time you are apart (What if he sees a prettier girl while he is at the bar with his friends? What if he is not calling because he is on the phone with his ex? What if, what if, what if).
Allow communication: Tell him outright if the reason you are acting clingy is that he is treating you like you don't matter, then it's time for a talk. It may be the case that he does not realise how he is making you feel. It may be that he is just not into you anymore.
Adapted: www.ehow.com
