Iyabo Ojo is a household name in the Nollywood industry. She is an actress, a producer and businesswoman. This graduate of Estate Management and mother of two in this interview with Angela Davies, advises young ladies not to rush into marriage. She also disclosed that although she is not desperate, she could give marriage a second chance. Excerpts:
What is your normal day like?
My normal day is always very busy and hectic. I am a very organised person. I draw up my calendar and I try not to be caught unawares. If I have to, it has to be that I have room to be caught unprepared. That means, I have my time when I work, rest and do business. However, I have noticed that most people fail in life because they are not organised. You have to be organised, and there are prices you have to pay for it. I do my job but when I have to be with my kids, I create that time and overlook the money I am going to be paid to do a job. I tell people that when you draw your calendar, it will help you organise your life because it has worked well for me.
When did you get into Nollywood?
I started in 1998 through the help of my senior colleague, Bimbo Akintola. She introduced me to the Actors Guild of Nigeria, AGN. I had the opportunity to shoot my first movie, entitled 'Satanic'. From there, I started doing other minor roles. I got married in 1999 and had my first child that same year. I had to stay away to nurse my baby. In 2001 I had my second child. I came back to the industry towards the end of 2001, and immediately I was asked to travel to Enugu State, Onitsha in Anambra and other places to shoot movies but I couldn't because my two children were still very young.
I decided to join the Yoruba movie industry, the Association of Nigerian Theatre Practitioners, ANTP. I joined the Odunfa Caucus where we had the likes of Hassan Taiwo (Ogogo). I trained under them and started acting in Yoruba movies. In reality, when I joined them, I just wanted to become a producer because I felt that was where the money was. But I was advised to go into acting first and take it up from there. In 2004, I became a producer, which had been my dream.
What are the movies you have produced?
My first movie was 'Botife'; after that I did 'Bofeboko' and 'Ololufe'. My latest production is entitled 'Arinzo'. I also have two other movies: 'Enu orofo' which I coordinated for my personal assistant; it is not out yet. Then I have 'Tembelo' which is my first comedy movie. It is going to be released after 'Arinzo' part two.
Can you tell us about your academic background?
Growing up, I attended Grace Children School, Gbagada, Lagos, National College Gbagada and then Lagos State Polytechnic where I studied Estate Management.
Why did you choose acting as a career when you studied Estate Management?
Studying Estate Management was not really my choice back then. I had all my required papers except English Language, and I was desperate to get into school. I decided that instead of sitting down at home doing nothing and wasting my time, why not look for a course that I am qualified? Luckily, I found out that I could study Estate Management; however, with the clause that I must pass English before I graduate. I fell in love with the course initially and while in school, I and a few friends even opened an office where we ran an estate and property business, but somehow I found myself in acting. To combine both careers was hectic and time consuming so I had to drop Estate Management and settled for my first love, acting.
How has it been raising your children alone as a single mother?
Being a single mother is very tasking because you have to be the breadwinner. I thank God for the strength. I call myself woman-man because I don't take defeat and I love challenges. I promised myself that I was going to give my kids the best ever. I am going to work my way through it to make sure that they become what I want them to be. My son is about finishing his secondary school education and I am planning ahead for his university. My daughter too will soon be completing her secondary school education; so it has been a long journey. I have been taking care of my children ever since my daughter was two years old and now she is 12. Though it is not easy, Christ has made it possible.
So what happened? Did your husband leave you or you walked away from the marriage?
I chose to walk away because I wasn't enjoying the marriage. It wasn't what I wanted and I blame it on myself because I rushed into marriage. In most early and rushed marriages, you don't get to study your partner. You people get married and then begin to live like strangers. Things you should have worked out before getting married, you start working it out in the marriage and it doesn't help. That was what affected me. But I thank God because out of every disappointment, there is a blessing. The blessing is my wonderful children which God has given me. That is the reason why I combined their names, Festus and Priscilla, to form Fespris which I named after my company, to honour them.
Why do you say you rushed into marriage?
I got married when I was 21years old, and I met him just six months before we got married. I was in school and it wasn't as if I was seeing him all the time to get to know him well. But the kind of family I come from, when I got pregnant, they didn't want me to have the baby out of wedlock so the marriage came because of the baby and not because we had actually planned it that way. When we got married, he still wanted to be married and be a bachelor and I wanted him to be married and be a husband. We were two different people hence when I found out he wasn't ready to be a husband, I decided to walk away and go back to my first love, which is acting.
Does he support you and are you still friends?
We are still friends. I don't make enemies, that is one thing about me. He tries to support in his own little way but I truly handle almost everything and I appreciate the little he does because some men don't even do anything at all. For my children's sake, I appreciate what he is doing for them. They have a very good relationship with him; they keep in contact with him. He comes to visit them and they go to visit him too. I try not to come in-between them.
Is there a man in your life and are you willing to give marriage a second chance?
Marriage is a contract. If you had asked me this question five years ago, I would say no. But now, maybe yes, but I am not desperate. I am happy the way I am; if marriage comes, no problem. I don't draw out my life plan all the way; I draw my daily life plan so I don't know what God has in store for me. If God says Iyabo, whether you like it or not you must remarry, then I will remarry. That means the right guy will come and I will know. Until that happens, I am very happy with the man I am dating and I love him because I am a one-man, onewoman person. He is taking very good care of me. It is not every relationship that should lead to marriage. For some, you will just be best friends forever; some will lead to marriage and some will not, but if he asks for my hand in marriage, I could say yes. Till then, I am not desperate, I just keep hoping for the best. There are three things I will choose in life, and they are health, happiness and to be as humble as I can be because I already have the greatest thing ever, my beautiful kids. They make me happy, I love being around them and I love them to pieces. I can't stop talking about them.
What's your advice for young girls who want to rush into marriage?
I will advise them not to try it because they will rush out. I have seen lots of people after mine who made the same mistake. Initially, when I advise young ladies against rushing into marriage, they tell me that because I made one mistake doesn't mean it is going to be a mistake for somebody else. You need to study the man you intend to marry because you will be living with a stranger. Even somebody you have dated for five years will shock you in marriage. It takes the first six months to play Romeo and Juliet, the next six months is for tolerance and after that you would decide whether to continue in the marriage or not. You need to study your partner for about a year or two to know and study the person.
What is the worst rumour you have heard about yourself?
They said I had sex in a car in London. I have never done that before, never. I don't know about tomorrow maybe I might but I haven't done it before. It was so awkward and funny. People carried the rumour and it was everywhere. I think that is the worst rumour.
Did it make you cry?
No, I was shocked to my bones and I laughed. I really laughed because it was funny to me. There was no truth in what they wrote at all.
Define your style?
I am a very elegant person. I love beauty and I am fashion crazy. I love gold. I create my own style, I don't move with the crowd except I love the movement. I am a very detailed person, a perfectionist and sometimes I take things to the extreme to make sure it is exactly what I want.
How many tattoos do you have?
I have three tattoos. I have on my chest, arm and at my back. The one on my chest signifies crown, it means I am a queen. The one on my arm signifies love; I am a very loving person. I talk and preach love because I am someone who believes in love. The one at my back is for all my enemies; I am watching them, so they should stay clear.
