I have learnt not to follow the heart but the mind. I consider myself a smart and wise woman, however even a wise person can be misled. My story… About 25 years ago, I fell in love and married a Igbo guy in the US with the intention to remain married. I worked hard to support him while he attended law school with the hope that he would assist me to get my degree once he finished. However, the moment he got his degree, he realized that he did not want me in his live. He became promiscuous, sleeping with countless young girls all around the place.
Because I am an American, I had fought to keep him in the US after several attempts by the immigration to deport him. I later made him to secure his green card; that was really when the going was good and we all had smiles on our faces. But the good days were short-lived as he abandoned the house, just to go after his numerous concubines and mistresses. To add salt to an open wound, several of his Nigerian concubines became disrespectful ,calling the house and warning me to stop calling him, if not they would never allow him back to the house again.
I would always tell them that he was cheating on them, and that if he could cheat on his wife, then what did they think he would do to them". I should have whipped both their ***, not because they were sleeping with him, but because of the numerous phone calls. Our vows were a contract between him and I so he was wrong no matter the number of "women " that came his way. Not only was his heartless act a thorn in my heart, but for the fact that I'm still paying taxes I owed because of him. This has led to a complicated medical condition, leaving me disabled. I am very Mad and frustrated now.
He has since returned to Nigeria and doing very well as a businessman. I just learnt he is a renowned businessman down there. I have also discovered that he never even told his family back home that he was married to me, and that one of his concubines was his wife.
I still care about this guy. However, a part of me is angry and would always wish he goes through the same pain I went through because of him. He made me look stupid before my family and friends. We have since divorced but chat on and off and even talk about getting back together again. I'm not sure if I can ever fully trust him again; so sleeping with him, I guess would be like "Sleeping with the Devil".
The experience has left me bitter and don't trust many people especially African (Igbo) men .
